


Look at Me, I’m R&D

by Darkrealmist



Category: Magic: The Gathering (Card Game)
Genre: Aliens, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Business, Card Games, Comedy, Crack, Dragons, F/F, Fantasy, Gen, Humor, In-Jokes, Inspired by Real Events, Legal Drama, Magic, Memes, Meta, Mind Control, Mistakes, Office, Parody, Puns & Word Play, Scandal, Swords & Sorcery, Wordcount: 100-1.000, Wordcount: 100-500, Wordcount: Under 10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22974016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkrealmist/pseuds/Darkrealmist
Summary: Stet, Draconic Proofreader unleashes his 2WW wrath upon Magic R&D.
Relationships: Chandra Nalaar/Nissa Revane
Kudos: 11





	Look at Me, I’m R&D

Look at Me, I’m R&D

Author’s Note: Enjoy the story and R&R.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of _Magic: The Gathering_ , nor do I intend to offend through any material expressed herein; I am merely mimicking self-referential Un-set humour.

Card Reference: <http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=479448>

Summary:

Stet, Draconic Proofreader unleashes his 2WW wrath upon Magic R&D.

* * *

“Stet, I need those proofs by 2 p.m. Or Gleemax will explode our heads!”

The bespectacled dragon editor growled at his murine supervisor’s warning, picking the Pillarfield Ox he had on break out of his teeth. If he weren’t saving for his kids’ college tuition, he’d go down to the Forbidden Room below corporate offices and lay into that mutant alien brain with a wordy beatdown!

“Do you hear me, Stet?”

 _Lousy mice. It hasn’t even been six months since they got their own creature type_ in Throne of Eldraine _!_

“Stet.”

Therosian gods, this place really was _the Pit_!

“Stet.”

How did he get stuck in R&D? As a whelp, he dreamed of hoarding gold, like any good, classic dragon.

“Stet!”

Working overtime in a dead-end job. No respect for his draconic heritage. No appreciation for the crucial function he fulfilled.

What happened when he took sick leave that time? Oh yeah, the Monarch marker made it all the way to print in _Conspiracy: Take the Crown_ with the typo “At the beginning your end step”!

“STET!”

He pounded his desk and breathed freezing rage into his and the surrounding cubicles.

Gary from accounting became “Ary,” “Ry,” “Y,” and finally a total nobody. The bureaucrat’s other co-workers fled the same outburst, their identities gradually deleted, letter by letter.

The giant brain in a jar sitting in the basement was _not_ pleased Hasbro’s profits took a hit.

The last thing Wizards of the Coast® needed was another Rebecca Guay or Chandra/Nissa-style controversy on their hands.

What could they do to control the narrative?

Announce a new Secret Lair drop?

Ship uncut foil Rare/Mythic sheets to affected employees’ families?

Abolish the Reserved List?

No, that would only generate _more_ controversy. The lawyers would be stepping on their necks.

Okay, so they’d bend their vanity rule this once to give Stet his own card in _Unsanctioned_ and keep things hush-hush. That should appeal to the dragon’s self-importance, right?

Proofreading. What a thankless career.


End file.
